From Fear to Flow - What August taught me
- banxartuk
- Sep 11
- 3 min read
September 25
August was a tough month. In my little shed-studio I was beavering away in the heat, working on various pieces but literally nothing was coming in. No sales, no commissions - nada. I was worried that my work wouldn't reach anyone, that the hours spent would go unnoticed.
For someone who's committed themselves to painting like I have, it begins to raise the ugly question - 'Is this all for nothing?' I mean of course it's not for nothing - art and painting has got it's talons so deep in me that even if there were no sales, I'd still be painting - because its a big, complex, difficult but awesome mountain that I'm climbing. So there's no a chance of me quitting because it doesn't pay the bills. But I still have bills.
Fortunately for me I have a trade skill and it covers most of the bills and although I love that job too, my aim is to be a full time professional artist. I mean perhaps 'aim' is a little weak. 'Need' describes it better.
So you can imagine the creeping fear that perhaps this wasn't working - that although I was getting plenty of likes on Facebook - which is always welcome - sales dropped off completely.
I do believe though in the adage that you should try and get so good that you can't be missed and so I put my head down and soldiered on. I went out with my paints and worked on my plein air skills - doing a study of my local pub, a sunny lane near my house and a barn, all with varying degrees of success. Skills can always be improved and so I went back to charcoal and focussed on portraits and dog portraits. I also worked on some local pieces that I will display at The Black Horse in North Nibley and painted North Nibley as it would have been in the 1930s as well as a painting I did of The Circus at Minchinhampton.
So I kept on keeping on. I worked on trying to capture light in charcoal - I've always loved the splash of light on portrait figures and how it can bring a sense of intimacy and so worked on intensifying the darks around the reflections to make the lack of charcoal really pop. I kept keeping on - improving my understanding of colour in oil painting, glasing my pieces to cool or warm them and then fired them out on socials to share. Then I worked some more, studied other painters, listened to my podcasts - developed an online charcoal course for aspiring Deaf artists and praying that it would trigger someone out there to think - hey - I like that!
Then bang! First a dog commission, greatly received and delivered and then (drumroll) a large painting commission! Remember the painting I did of the Horse for The Black Horse in North Nibley? Well someone saw it and wanted to purchase it from the landlord. The landlord, Mike (a total legend!) said no - it was his and he wan't selling it but passed on the lady's details to me and so I contacted her and then after a tiny bit of back and forth - a new commission. A huge A1 painting of a horse before a Scottish castle on a loch. Hallelujah!
The work I was putting in and the sharing of that work was paying off. This new painting is going to Swtizerland - so ahem... an 'international' commission. The client is lovely and I'm mid process as I write. We discussed what she would like and I presented a small study of my idea.
We then had a discussion about the horse - she wanted something prouder - it was a great point and so I went to work trying to find sources that would give me the horse as I imagined it - then finally I found it and painted the horse that would appear in the painting. So I painted another study of the horse (below)
The client is really pleased and I'm so excited to begin. So watch this space for the progression of the larger piece.
I've also just sold The Circus at Minchinhampton! So double yay!
So in essence - my lesson learned- during my quieter periods - just put your head down, be patient and work through it. I think that works for life in general too - so thanks August, you quiet wallflower - you're a great teacher!
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